I’m having a mid-life crisis.
At 23 years old, I am having a breakdown about getting old. A quarter-life crisis, if you will.
I want to get a tattoo. Considering that I have tried in vain to put off any of my friends who have ever said they wanted a tattoo, this is huge. One of my best friends even hid her tattoo from me for weeks because I had such strong “anti-tattoo” feelings.
But now I’ve decided that a tattoo is just the thing I need. Along with a drum kit, because I’ve decided that it would be amazing if I could play drums. It doesn’t matter than I have the co-ordination of a monkey; in my head I have a hidden drum-playing talent to rival Phil Collins.
It’s my 24th birthday in a few weeks and I am terrified about how I am going to cope. I spent my last birthday horrifically drunk, and crying. Crying in the toilet of a swanky bar, then all the way home and then curled up in a little ball in the shower.
I’m contemplating not celebrating, although gifts will still be welcome.
But, as my birthday creeps closer and closer and my fears about getting old get worse, I’ve done the age-old thing of buying leather.
That’s right – apparently, my quarter-life crisis is making me react in the same way that men do when they reach 50. I have bought myself some actual leather clothes. In the form of leather shorts, which look a tiny bit like something I would wear on safari (if they weren’t made of leather).
Calling them leather might be a little generous though, as they were only from Primark. Whilst I’m having the breakdown of a 50-year old, I don’t have the bank balance to match, so my leather shorts are really pleather shorts. But whatever, the principle’s the same.
It seems that I’m not the only one who is suffering with getting old though. In this week’s Sunday Times Style magazine, the quarter-life crisis was featured in their “Going Up/Going Down” article.
So, I now have proof that I’m not just being a drama queen, but that my reaction is to be expected. And, a quick search online found a dozen different sites, all dedication to my ‘condition’. There’s even a Wikipedia page about it (I didn’t set it up to gain sympathy, I promise) and a hilarious website full of inspiring saying and suggestions to make getting through your crisis that little bit easier – “This is all you have – right now. And if you don’t use it – it’s gone.”
It even has its own entry in the Urban Dictionary:
The period in your life occurring between 20 and 30 years of age, when you realize that a quarter of your life is over and :
a) You’ve done nothing constructive with it
- AND -
b) You’ve set yourself up for another quarter just like it. You may be experiencing a quarter life crisis if: You ever ask yourself what the h*** you are doing with your life
Anyway, I’m off to bathe in some anti-wrinkle cream, change into my leather pyjamas and cry into my pillow (although I will crying face up – face smushed into the pillow creates wrinkles daaahlings) about how I’ve not lived up to my own expectations for my life, and think about the meaningful thing my tattoo can say.
- theshedizzle posted this